Toronto: a Ballad

By: Sayyeda Masood

A city bordering a lake
The true North strong and free
T.O is like nobody’s dream
With people more salty than seas.

 

I mean, like, can you blame us though?
Our subway system sucks
The Maple Leafs just can’t be saved
And everyone’s on drugs.

 

Our ex-mayor is high on crack
(and probably some weed)
God only knows what Norm is on
And Drizzy has his speed.

 

Since last call is at 2am
When subways are all beat,
The 905ers flood the clubs
And then they flood the streets.

 

Maniac drivers aside,
We also deal with snow
And rain and slush and icy roads:
An absolute sh_t show.

 

The rent’s so high you can’t move out
And live so far from school
You sleep through almost every class
And bum notes like some fool.

 

I guess we have the AGO
And Eaton’s down the street;
We also had that dead raccoon
With flowers at his feet.

 

And when we hosted Pride one time
Despite the pouring rain
Some happiness fit for the 6ix:
A rainbow, once again!

 

We also have some skating rinks
And cherry blossom trees
Despite all of its quirky traits
This city’s home to me.

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